The Big Adventure

The Whatsoevers (thank you Jeni B.!)

2010-09-21T08:56:00.001-05:00

Maybe my sisters remember. Dad told us to think about the Whatsoevers. I didn't know when I was 10 years old that he was teaching me how to control my thought life. It's in Philippians 4:8 where it tells us how to choose our thoughts.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true,
whatever is noble,
whatever is right,
whatever is lovely,
whatever is pure,
whatever is admirable
--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--
think on these things."

In the NIV it isn't whatsoever like in the King James I memorized as a child. These are the whatevers for my kids. What an awesome tool to protect heart and mind! Choose to think about good things. Should I replay the insults someone shouted at me in anger? Should I dwell on the gossip about a friend? Should I see the horror movie? Should I choose that computer game? Should I let my mind wander to the worrying uncertainties of my future? We can make a choice if we want to.

More than ever kids are bombarded with choices of what to see and listen to. Cell phones and iPods, internet and computer games, 24 hours of TV available every day with LOTS of channels! I had 5 channels as a kid. FIVE. No computer games with any moral content... remember the many variations of ball games on an old "Odessey" TV game? Ping-pong or handball... white paddles on a black screen with a ball bouncing between them? Uh, not much of a moral intrusion there Music was available on cassette tapes or records. If you wanted to see a movie, you went to the kid's flick at the cinema... once a year, with Grandma for a special day. Life is different now. Technology that is making it possible for me to send this message from Mozambique to whoever wants to read it anywhere in the world also makes it possible for me to CHOOSE anything to read or see or hear for better or for worse.

You know it is true. If you don't see bad stuff or hear bad stuff, it just isn't going to run through your head, is it? If you constantly play songs with edgy lyrics and watch whatever is on TV and see questionable movies and stuff your head with THAT. What is going to go through your head later? What pops out of your mouth before you can stop it? Images can be so powerful... and once they are seen, they stick, like it or not. It is hard to forget what your eye has seen. Protect yourself. Choose good things. They also stick!

In Bible Club at Zambezi Junior School we are studying the Fruit of the Spirit this year. We've come to the end of the Fruit lessons and have just a few weeks before starting to practice for a Christmas celebration. We have some time for "how to live a Christian life." My first choice for the additional memory verse was the whatsoevers. Kids need guidelines. Many parents aren't giving them. So, I have a unique opportunity to mold the conscience of a few kids. I have a chance to give them a choice. I memorized that verse about 30 years ago. How many times since then has God prompted me to choose right thoughts? Without even trying to remember, it pops into my head giving me a guideline for a choice. I can still choose to go against the guideline, but I KNOW what is right. I can choose what is right because I know I have a choice.

Another thing Dad said was, "Depression comes from believing a lie." How true is that? It fits right in with the whatsoevers. I can believe I will always fail or believe people are going to think bad things about me or believe I'm going to be taken by aliens. I can feel ugly and boring. I can imagine terrible things that could happen. Is any of that really true or right or lovely? No. So, I remember what Mom told us every night when she tucked us in, "Think good thoughts instead of bad thoughts." My Dad and Mom were a pretty good team, weren't they?

Just Stuff

2010-09-05T23:02:00.002-05:00

A couple of week ago, I had the unexpected opportunity to hear Chris Tomlin on the beach in Panama City. Wow! It was amazing! I have wanted to see him for years, so to get to do it finally, and for free--what a blessing. My friend Bonnie and I went, and we had a great time.

We had a great day yesterday. We set out to visit the Ocheesee Creamery in Calhoun County. We didn't have an address, and they didn't have a very big sign, so we ended up driving all the way to Blountstown. That turned out great though because there's a little park there that is a tribute to the M & B Railroad--Marianna and Blountstown. It was the shortest railway in Florida in its time. It had a real engine and a caboose, and the boys, as well as Benjamin and I, had a great time climbing around on it. After that, we went back and found the dairy. The boys got to pet calves to their hearts' content. We capped the day off with a stop by Grammy and Grand's for a short visit. It was a great day!

I am grateful for my life and for my family. Thank you Father.

2010-08-29T21:27:00.003-05:00

I have to say (again) how sad it makes me that I have almost completely quit blogging since I started "facebooking." I really enjoy looking back at the entries about the boys. Oh well. All I can do is try to do better. :)

I am a busy girl these days:

I am volunteering with bereavement services with Emerald Coast Hospice. I make phone calls to the bereaved families to see how they are coping with loss. I love doing it. I feel like I've been able to make a real difference for some of the people I've talked to. I also do the monthly mail-outs for the chaplains. I wish I had about one full day a month that I could devote to it, but it's completely hit and miss right now with everything else that's going on....

I have a part-time, mostly at-home job with a tutoring company. The No Child Left Behind Act provides tutoring services for students who need it and can't afford it, and I am the liaison between my company's corporate office and the teachers who are actually doing the tutoring in the schools. It's been an okay job so far, but we're gearing up for our busy time for about the next eight weeks, so I'll know after that how I really feel. :)

I clean house for two sisters on alternating Mondays still, and I really enjoy that work. I've been a little spoiled all summer though in that I haven't had to take the boys with me. They started back with me last Monday, and it's so hard! I wish I could hire a sitter, but that make me be cleaning almost for free--and I don't enjoy it quite that much!

Benjamin is back in school this fall, working on his bachelor's degree. He's juggling three part-time jobs in addition to being a full-time dad and going to school full-time. He handles it beautifully though, and once we get used to his new schedule, it will be fine.

I still try to drive a bus now and then, and I may be driving some for Venture this year. That remains to be seen, but I hope I get to. I really enjoy that, and it's a little extra money too.

Oh, did I mention that I have a 2 1/2- and a 4 1/2-year-old who keep me HOPPING?! They are so much fun! David is completely potty-trained, and we are so thrilled. Honestly, some days it seemed like it would never happen! He is so grown-up, and some of the things that come out of his mouth just amaze me. Of course, right now, I can't think of any of them, but I will. I'm amazed that this time next year, he will be in school. And I'm determined to make the most of this last year where I am his primary influence in life. :) It's been interesting to watch David gravitate more and more toward his dad this summer too. He asks about him when he first gets up in the morning and can't wait for him to get home in the evenings. It's very sweet.

Sam. Sam. Sam. What can I say about that little rascal? He is so mischievous! He talks up a storm and does his best to keep up with David in all things. Except potty-training. He's showing no interest in that! But I'm not stressing; it will come in time!

We've done some fun things this summer--two trips to the beach, one to Wilder's World or "the bouncy house" as Sam calls it. We've been swimming at the Oliver's several times. We took lots of pictures, and eventually those will make it off my computer and into scrapbooks.

Okay. I think I'm done for now. I intended to have more anecdotes, but the power actually went off in the middle of this (thank goodness for auto-save), and it's getting late. I will do this again before the month of September is out!!!!! I will. Seriously. :)

It's About Time

2010-06-07T21:39:00.003-05:00

I wrote this back in June and never got back to it. I will do a real update before I go to bed tonight! I am determined!

I wrote a LONG post a couple of months ago and lost the entire thing somehow. It made me very sad because I just didn't have it in me to start over!

I will attempt now to update this chronicle. We'll see how it goes.

We have had an great spring. Neither of the boys has been to the doctor in several months. It's been a record year for pollen, but they've had doses of local honey in their oatmeal several times a week, and there hasn't been even a runny nose. It's been so great not to have any ear infections this year!

David has made great strides in potty training finally. Have I learned my lesson? Don't stress over things you cannot control. They will fall into place in the right time. I have seen that time and time again with David. He's not completely done with the PT, but he's well on his way.

I was trying to think how I would describe him to someone who doesn't know him. He's got a great imagination and a fun sense of humor. He's polite most of the time, and sometime he's shy. I have a hard time sometimes getting him to greet people at church, but he's getting better about that, and there are days that he will chat with anyone who will talk to him. He and Sam are getting better every day about playing together, and it's really fun to watch on the good days. :)

2010-02-13T18:22:00.002-06:00

Sam Update

2009-06-30T11:33:00.004-05:00

We are going through an unusual (to me) trial with Sam right now. He just cries for no apparent reason. I really believe it's teething, but Anbesol nor pain relief (Tylenol/Motrin) helps at all. He will walk across the floor, start crying and reach his arms out to you. If you reach toward him, he will lie down in the floor and scream. If you don't do anything, he will lie down in the floor and scream. If you pick him up, he arches his back and screams. It's not pretty. You can tell him he will go to bed if he doesn't stop crying, and he'll shake his head no that he doesn't want to go, but he won't stop crying but for about 15 seconds. If you go ahead and put him in the bed, he will scream (not cry) until you get him out. Twenty minutes is my record so far. (If it were a going-to-sleep issue, I know to let him cry it out, but that's not what this is, and we usually don't have any trouble getting him to go to bed either at nap-time or bed-time.) So, I'm praying a lot and just trying to muddle through. We did have a couple of days respite from this, but it started again today. The first round lasted about ten days, at the end of which he had two new molars, so it must be teething (three two-year molars down, one to go), but his not responding to pain medication or numbing medication puzzles me.

I cut off all of Sam's curls a couple of weeks ago. It was a tough decision because I loved them, but his dad was ready for a little boy haircut instead of a baby one. It looks like the curls are going to come back though, and I'm glad. I'll just keep it shorter than I had let it get before.

Sam wants to mimic anything and everything that David does. He wants to sit in David's chair at the dining table--which is part of the reason he mashed his finger so badly in May. He loves to play with David, and he's getting big enough that they roll around on the floor some. They have a great time playing with their Dad, and I love to listen too all the craziness when they get going.

I am so blessed with my five guys--husband, two sons, two cats! :)

David Update

2009-06-30T10:28:00.004-05:00

David's speech is just amazing. To think that less than a year ago, he had only a handful of words in his vocabulary.... God told me in August of 2007 that David would talk when he had something to say. Well let me tell you that he has plenty to say these days. It's so interesting too, to listen to him try out new phrases that you know he must have heard somewhere. On the way to school yesterday, he just started saying, "Of course I am," with different inflections and volume. He had heard it somewhere and was trying it out.

I'm having a hard time with his hair. It has thickened up, but it is somewhat unruly. We went ahead and buzzed it for the summer, but that's not the most attractive look for him, so we'll have to figure out what to do next when it grows back out.

Last summer, we had no luck with him and swimming in that we couldn't get him to close his mouth when he was playing in the pool. He swallowed what seemed like gallons of water. He started out that way the first time we went swimming this year (in May). We had a friend give him a "swimming lesson" which amounted really to working with him on closing his mouth. It didn't feel like we made much progress, but several days later while at Mom's he got brave about stepping off into water over his head and going under. He would flounder around back to the pool steps and come out with no choking and sputtering. I'm so glad we've reached that milestone! We haven't been able to do our weekly outing at Janice's this year because she has had some pool problems, but we should be able to start those after the Fourth. We did go to Blue Springs last Friday, and after a pretty tentative start, the boys had a good time.

We went to Orange Beach while we were at Mom's last week and had a great visit with Cherry. She is so precious and loves my boys so much. God has blessed me in the sister department! While we were in Orange Beach we rode the "Perris Wheel" at the Wharf, and the boys loved it.

David is enjoying "school" very much, and we're trying to figure out how to let him go two days a week beginning in August. I need to pick up another cleaning day in order to do that; we'll see what God does there.

I guess that about catches us up on my eldest. He is a rascal, but I love him dearly.

Facebook....

2009-06-30T09:41:00.003-05:00

I am amazed at how using Facebook keeps me from "needing" to blog. That's not a good thing. I do this blog for me, and I like knowing I have a chronicle of our life. The things I put on FB disappear, so there's no record of life there.... I'm going to have to do better about blogging.

Hmmmm, almost four months since I blogged.

We got a new kitten. After many tries, the name Mokey finally stuck. It's how David used to say monkey (and sometimes still does), and this kitty definitely reminds us of a monkey with his antics. He has been a perfect addtion to the household. He and Pinx play together like two kittens in spite of the size difference, and Pinx has really gotten more affectionate with us human family members too. They both let the boys lie on them and squeeze them and pick them up. It's been great!

Benjamin made all A's again spring semester. He loves going to school! He's changed his major to English Education. I see him teaching college one day. In the meantime, we're not sure yet where he'll finish school He'll complete he AA next spring, but right now CC is not offering the English degree. They are thinking about it, so we are praying that that will come to pass in the next year.

We are so blessed that Garry and Joey work with Benjamin on his work schedule so he is able to work around his classes and therefore go to school full-time.

I'm in a learning phase of a different kind right now while God teaches me my place in this world. It's an odd one sometimes since most of my "peers" have older children, and some of them even have grandchildren. God is helping me to figure it all out though. Another blog for another time I guess.

David B is Three

2009-03-01T15:26:00.005-06:00

What a week our boy has had! He is still red on the top of his nose from falling a couple of weeks ago. Wednesday, Bam fell with him and he scraped the left side of his nose on the driveway, and Friday, he tripped in the yard and hit the slide with his face. He had a busted lip and bruising on his face. Bam felt sorry for him and played with him in the yard after that, and he got REALLY dirty--see photo.

David spent the day of his birthday with his dad--up until naptime. They went to the grocery store and then went to play at Wal-Mart. That sounds kind of funny, but they love to go to Wal-Mart together, and they have a good time.

When he woke up from his nap, we had the cupcake tree set up and the Mickey Mouse banner and wall decorations up. He was so excited!

On Saturday evening, the Basfords (including Dallas and Jade) and Becki F. along with Bam, Grammy, and Grand, were all here for supper and birthday cake. We had so much fun.
David is talking up a storm, and I fully expect him to be dismissed from speech at his next evaulation. He just doesn't seem to have any problem saying anything he wants to these days. Praise God! We'll miss Miss Jennifer, but we'll just have to make arrangements to see her somewhere else. :)

He is so adventurous yet so careful. He wants to climb everything and try anything he sees us doing, i.e. cooking, cleaning, writing. We decided to let him try pre-school one day a week, and tomorrow is his first day. He was very excited when we went to register last week and cried when we left. He wanted to stay and check out his new classroom even though it was naptime and rather dark in the room. I'm looking at this more-or-less as an experiment. If he loves it, we'll see about adding more days.

I love this boy. He is so gentle in nature and has the best sense of humor. He continues to add joy to our lives every single day. He has really begun to play with Sam, and if Sam cries, David will often pat him and say, "Don't cry" or "It's alright." We are so blessed.

Sam I Am

2009-02-17T12:19:00.006-06:00

Our little punkin turned a year old a couple of weeks ago. He was so cute in his little red high tops, but this is the best picture we got of them.

Friends of ours let us have his birthday party at their house. They love our boys, and they love to open their home, so it was a natural thing to have the party there. I didn't think about the fact that if you need to have big birthday (i.e. first birthday) parties in the winter, you need more inside space than we have, so Ron and Amy's house was perfect. And Ron and Amy are so great! Their home exudes love and welcome for everyone who comes in, and it made the party a great success.

Curly Mommy made the most delicious birthday cake, and it was so cute. Everyone was very impressed with her talent. I, of course, ate cake for the next week at home and had to work hard to get rid of the extra pounds--well worth every bite though. Yum yum!

Because of crazy schedules, we didn't actually get to do the smash cake until the following Wednesday, but Sam didn't mind waiting, and he had a blast digging in to that cake. It was yummy too. :)

I'm just so grateful for friends.

Sam is very interested in walking. He gets so excited though, that he doesn't get very far usually. He did take about eight steps at once yesterday though, so it won't be long. His teeth are coming in slowly, but surely. Right now, he's got two on bottom and four on top; one of the top ones is a one-year-molar though. His curls are beautiful if the weather is not ultra-dry. I'll wait as long as I can to cut his hair.

He wants to do anything and everything that David does. We saw this very early when he wanted to eat "big people" food. He wants to climb on everything, and although (perhaps because) he has had a couple of minor spills, he is very, very careful.

He is a joy, and we are loving every minute of life with our little Samuel Crockett Griffin.

A New Year

2009-01-19T21:13:00.004-06:00

Just another "diary" entry of what has been going on in our house over the last few weeks....

Christmas was perfect. First we went to Tuscaloosa and spent a few days with the Reddochs. One of those days we spent at their 100-year-old house in Eutaw. We had a great time and got some fun pictures. I really want to go back in the spring. David can just have so much freedom to run around outside there. It was a lot of fun to watch him exploring.

Joy and Earl came home the weekend after Christmas, and we had a great visit with them. I miss them. They came over New Year's Eve, along with Becki and Jesse, and we had a great time. Joy and Earl didn't leave until about 3:00 A.M. It was so nice to just sit and visit.

Sam is still teething and taking his time about walking. I'm not in any hurry really, and apparently, neither is he. All in good time. He has a birthday coming up in a week. I can hardly believe it. He is eating like a horse lately and has gained a couple of pounds. It will be time to change his car seat out soon.

David has been sick for the last couple of days. He has only had colds before, so this has been a different experience. He has been super sweet though. I wiped his face after he was sick yesterday, and he looked up at me with those beautiful blue eyes, and said, "Thank you, Momma." It was so sweet. He was playing with Sam some tonight though, and he wanted his dad to play "Getchu" (which involves chasing him down the hall and tickling him), so he is definitely feeling better.

Benjamin made the Dean's List last semester. I'm so PROUD of him. Most people have a hard time going back to school after being out for a while, but he is just thriving. There's a lot to be said for doing things in God's timing instead of our own!

I'll add pictures to this soon. Right now, I've got to get headed to bed--still have to shower and do dishes.

2008-12-06T23:46:00.011-06:00

I can't believe it's been almost two months since I blogged. Where do the days go?

The ladies in our church went to see Joyce Meyer and Darlene Zschech in Tampa in October. It was a life-changing conference dealing with "The Mouth." There will be more on that once I get the CD's and can listen to it again.

We took David to the circus the week before Thanksgiving. He was in awe. We sat ring-side, and the elephants were so close that it was a little scary. His souvenir was a plastic horn that he "plays" every time there's music on.

We spent four days at Seaside with Kym, Jim, and Amy Kathryn, and it was glorious! Jim rented bikes and David and I rode a couple of times. He didn't want his picture taken (too early and too cold), but he did love riding the bike. Benjamin and I walked through the town and just enjoyed being away.

David is growing so tall! He's 36 inches and 29 pounds. He outgrows his jeans about as fast as I can get them. He is also talking more and more all the time. Some days he repeats everything we say. It's so cute, and so amazing to hear him. He has also learned how to climb out of his crib! It's been so nice having him still in a crib because once he wakes up, I can get up and kind of get my day started before I get him out of bed. The routine has been that once I hear that one or both boys are awake, I get up and fix their breakfast, then go get them out of the bed. I'm afraid those days are over. I haven't seen him climb out yet, so I don't know how he's doing it, and I know it's no simple feat, but the boy loves a challenge! His new favorite movie is Mary Poppins. He's curled up in the recliner watching it right now with three blankets, one under him, one for a pillow, and one on top of him. He's a snuggle bug. He also met Frosty the Snowman this week, and asks to watch that each night. I don't know why he doesn't ask in the daytime, but I guess maybe he associates it with the whole family, Dad included, being here to watch.

Sam is trying to talk too. He astounds us with some of the sounds he repeats already. Benjamin was an early talker, and I guess Sam could be too. We'll see. He has learned to climb and loves to climb up in a little blue chair that we have. He just chatters away and grins so big when he gets up there. He still doesn't have those to top front teeth, but they're getting closer all the time. He is loving table food and growing like crazy. He's 22 pounds now. His hair is growing too, and it sure makes some funny pictures sometimes.

We did put the boys in the same room a few weeks ago, and it's working out pretty well. They like it anyway. :)

We love this season and are so thankful for its reason, Jesus. We have decided to have a quiet Christmas celebration at home the weekend before Christmas and then travel to Tuscaloosa to be with Kym and her family for Christmas day. Joy, Earl, and Toby will be home the weekend after Christmas, so we'll have celebration number three when they get here. God just continues to bless us.

More Milestones

2008-10-24T06:46:00.004-05:00

Sam has a tooth! I'm so happy for him--and for me. He is not a good teether, and I have no experience with that at all. He's been waking up a couple of times a night for two weeks, and he's not been eating well (still taking plenty of bottles though). He has settled down a little since the tooth broke through.

In general, he is a very sweet, happy baby. He'll smile at just about anything, and he's a little bit of a snuggler. He wants to eat everything we're eating and will just have a fit if he thinks he's missing out on something. He has tried to take steps from the couch to a chair and from one toy to another. I don't know how long before he learns to walk, but the process is fascinating to watch--for his mom anyway. :)

I still haven't put the boys in a room together, and now I may wait until Sam's done teething if the waking up at all hours continues with the rest of his teeth. I can't imagine David waking up every time he does. Still, I'm looking forward to the change. We need the space where Sam's bed is to set up a desk for Benjamin's school stuff. Plus, a couple of weeks ago while we were at Mom's, we had them in Pack-n-Plays next to each other (for the first time) and they had so much fun. I woke up one night and heard them both giggling in the other room. It was 3:00 A.M.!!!!! They eventually went back to sleep though. When I told Benjamin about that when I got home, he was all for moving Sam that day. Really the main reason I'm not ready for it though is that they wake up at different times in the morning (Sam is stirring now, and David is likely to sleep another hour). I enjoy having time to feed Sam and dress him, then get David's breakfast ready before David wakes up. I think that we'll make the change over the Christmas holidays if not before. That way, when Benjamin starts the new semester, he'll have his space set up and organized.

Sometimes being a mom is really frustrating--not knowing if the fussiness and not sleeping is ears or teeth, that sort of thing--but it's an adventure I dearly love. I always wanted lots of children, but I am so blessed to have the two I have with the love of my life. God is truly faithful and good.

Portraits and Milestones

2008-10-06T08:45:00.004-05:00

We usually get our family portraits done at JCPenney. They are very inexpensive and the quality is outstanding. Due to circumstances beyond my control, however, we went to Sears last week to have the boys' portraits done. David didn't have a formal baby picture at all before he was a year old, and I was determined that Sam would have one before then.

The time the photographer actually spent with the boys was great. He was very patient with two boys who were very cranky.

However, he took a long phone call while we were waiting for him to get set up for us. He disappeared for 30 minutes after the photo session, and when I finally went to find him to ask how much longer it would be, he said he was editing the photos and it would be five more minutes--did we want to go grab something to eat. Well, why didn't he tell us BEFORE he began the editing that we had time to go somewhere. Fifteen minutes later, he showed us the photos. There were only three that were worth having--did I mention the boys were cranky?

As we were checking out, he asked if we wanted to pay $3 per sheet extra and have them printed while we waited. I asked how he could do that, and he said oh, he just prints them on the computer, JUST LIKE THEY DO AT THE LAB. WHAT????!!!!

I did not just spend two hours (all day if you count the crazy time we had getting to the studio in the first place) and lots of stress to have computer-printed pictures, which are not the quality of lab-processed photos. Well, apparently I did. It never occurred to me that a portrait studio of any kind would produce computer-printed pictures.

Then, I noticed as I was checking out that a brochure said that I could have free on-line access to my photos. When I asked about it, the photographer said, "Oh, I was going to tell you about that in a minute." After he got my money so I wouldn't put off my purchase. He didn't give me any information for accessing my photos except that they would be available in 48 hours. I assumed the log-in information was somewhere in the paperwork he had given me. When I tried to get the pictures yesterday, I discovered that I didn't have the information I needed, so I called. They gave me the log-in info, but I still couldn't get anything. I have to call back today when my photographer (who is also the manager--what?!) is in and find out what the problem is.

This definitely goes in the Live and Learn file.

On a happier note....Sam figured out how to get his feet moving yesterday. He's been pulling up on everything for about three weeks now, but he hasn't shown any interest in moving around once he got up. Yesterday, the phone was on the sofa, and he WANTED it, so he figured out how to make those feet cooperate. He was so proud!

I am always amazed when he learns something physical so quickly. As I'm sure I've mentioned here before, David rolled over at 13 months and walked at 20--he only just started walking this time last year, so Sam's progress is supersonic by comparison. The funny thing about David though was that he didn't seem slow, even though we knew he was way behind, and we never, ever worried. I got frustrated when he didn't walk sooner, but I was never afraid that he wouldn't. God is good.

Ugh!

2008-09-10T14:30:00.002-05:00

I am so sick of being fat I don't know what to do. I had lost about ten pounds, but I feel like I've gained it back (I'm afraid to get on the scales.)

I am so frustrated with ME!

Palin and other things....

2008-09-05T14:53:00.004-05:00

As always, I'm amazed at how long it's been since I've posted....

I'm here at the moment to complain about myself, so you may want to stop reading now.

I feel very strongly about the things I feel strongly about: God, family, country, stupidity, etc But when given the opportunity to voice my opinion, I can't say what I mean, so I say nothing. It's one of my least favorite things about myself, and so often, it makes me look like I don't feel strongly because I'm quiet.

I have had mixed feelings about John McCain for President. Until he chose Sarah Palin for his VP. I like her. I like her a lot. I think she believes in the same things I do. Her confidence in McCain has increased mine.

As aggravated as I get with the liberals for bashing Sarah Palin, I get equally aggravated with Christians for acting like she's the answer to all our problems. I recently heard a teaching about how we don't truly live in a Christian nation any more. It's not Muslim, but it's not Christian. The point was that we need to get proactive about bringing people into the Kingdom and not expect our government or anyone else to do the job for us. There was a lot more to that, and it was good, but I've got to cut this short. I may have to come back and do some explaining....not sure if I made myself clear. Big surprise. :)

Termites and Rubbing Alcohol

2008-07-15T16:44:00.001-05:00

A friend of ours told us a story the other day about my brother, who I have mentioned before.

Garry and Vince were building a porch for Allan, and as they went through the lumber stacked in the yard, they discovered that it had termites in it. Vince went inside and came back out with a bottle of rubbing alcohol and poured it into the furrow made by the termites. When Garry asked him if that would kill the bugs, Vince commented that he didn't know, but it would sure make every scratch they had sting like crazy.

He was always clowning.

Summer Fun

2008-07-15T14:26:00.007-05:00

It's been a great summer. We've gone to Janice's pool every week with Khrystal, Marci, and all the kids. Smiley Boy likes to stay on the steps and play; being where his feet don't touch makes him nervous, even if I'm holding him. We're going to the beach next week, though, and the pool where we're staying has a great shallow place for him to play. I can't wait. Baby brother, however, will float around the pool all day if we let him--that is, until he gets hungry or sleepy. He loves his float though!

Our trip next week should be interesting. Two of my sisters, my mom, and I will be staying together in the same town where my other two sisters live. While we're there, we will be getting together with my dad's brother's family.

Dad had five girls and a boy, and his brother had five boys and a girl. Of Uncle Bert's family, there are only three boys left; my aunt and my cousin Angela both went to heaven this last year. I didn't get to go to Aunt Dot's funeral because we had a baby that day. Anyway, all of the cousins and my mom will be gathering next Saturday. It should be a fun time.

I am really looking forward to getting away with the boys, and Drason will join us later in the week.

Catching Up

2008-06-24T06:50:00.010-05:00

Wow. It's been a while since I've been here....

Just a quick re-cap of the last four months because both of my guys are awake and waiting for me to get them up; I do try to leave them in bed until 7:00 at least though.

The baby, who has no pseudonym yet, (Drason suggested Spew because he spits up a LOT) will be five months old on Thursday. He is rolling over both ways and is quite a little chatterer. He has also turned into quite a snuggle bug these last weeks. We're really having a lot of fun with him. He's finally sleeping through the night, not the eleven hours that are every mother's dream, but seven or eight, and we are very happy to get that. He is sitting up with some assistance and eating solid foods. He weighed 14 and a half pounds at his last doctor's appointment three weeks ago, so he is right on track. How odd to have a baby doing things on a normal schedule! It sure seems fast!

Smiley Boy is Smiley Boy. He's going through a very whiney stage, partly due to Bam (my mother) having lived with us for five months and his being accustomed to her catering to him a bit. His last speech evaluation, about two months ago, showed him at 18 months, about eight months behind. He has really added a lot of words to his vocabulary in the last month though, and as our friend and his speech therapist, Miss Jennifer, says, he has really taken off. He loves to play outside, but if he has to stay in, he will occupy himself "cooking" with cups, bowls, and spoons. He loves to play with Pinx and will following him around the house all day long; that is if Pinx doesn't get tired of it and disappear outside. Oh, and SB put on his shoes (blue crocs) by himself yesterday for the first time--he really wanted to go outside. :)

Our beloved Tip disappeared about two months ago. He was the greatest cat for kids because he never got upset no matter how much they poked and pulled at him. We have some great memories, and a few pictures, of him and Smiley Boy. We inherited Pinx from my mom (she didn't want him to readjust to condo living after being able to roam outdoors here), and he's a pretty good cat, but we miss our Tip.

Drason is plugging along at his job. They plan to move into their new facility in the next couple of weeks, and hopefully that will bring about some needed organizational changes. That's what we're praying for anyway.

I am trying to lose weight. Not baby weight anymore, because I am finally where I was when I got pregnant, but I needed to lose weight then too, so I'm working at it slowly but surely and making some progress. "At my age," I really need to get to an optimum weight just so I'll feel better, so I plod along....

I guess that updates us for now. The main reason I keep this blog is for a record for me, so I've got to do a better job of updating it, even if I don't feel particularly creative....

PS--note to self, blog SOON about Smiley Boy's relationship with his little brother!

Busy, Busy

2008-05-09T23:17:00.006-05:00

Only when I friend asked about my blog did I realize I haven't posted in three months. Wow! What a busy three months it's been.

Nursing our new baby did not go very well. I had to stop after eight weeks. I didn't mind in a way because nursing was never the amazing bonding experience that I had heard so much about, but, I know it was good for the baby, so for his sake, I wish I could have continued. I'll spare the details of the difficulty, but I don't think I'll forget any time soon. :)

Smiley Boy loves his little brother. It really upsets him for the baby to cry, and he tries to hurry us into action to get it stopped. I think he'll be glad when he's old enough to play with.

Mom continues to improve and is a big help in keeping SB entertained while I tend to the baby. She plans to return to her home at the end of next month. We will all miss her, but especially Smiley Boy.

Well, short and sweet, but duty calls.

He's Here!

2008-02-06T11:55:00.000-06:00

Well, we made it 39 weeks and three days--a full-term baby. I did start to have preeclampsia symptoms on Wednesday, so my doctor was watching me very closely. She had me go in Saturday morning to have some bloodwork done and while I was there decided to send me upstairs to L and D to monitor the baby and me while we waited on the labs. Nurse Dawn was on duty, so I was very relaxed about the whole thing.

Everything looked great; I was having some minor contractions (which thrilled me; I really wanted to have the birth experience), and the baby was showing no signs of distress. When the labs came back though, the numbers weren't good, and my doctor decided we needed to go ahead and induce. I was so excited. I mean, I had come in to have bloodwork done, and all of a sudden, we were going to have a baby!

I had called Drason once I got upstairs to let him know what was going on, so he had come to sit with me while we waited. Once again, we did not have a camera with us--and no Curly Mommy this time to lend us hers! (Another friend did take some great pictures once the baby was in the nursery though....)

The doctor broke my water--an interesting experience since I was not dilated at all. However, there was meconium in it which meant we needed to do a c-section to get our boy out of that environment. That decision was made about 12:15, and at 1:18, we had our baby.

He was much smaller (5 lbs. 11 oz.) than anyone expected--especially me, but he's healthy and very sweet. He doesn't look at all like Smiley Boy. He's dark-haired and dark-eyed. I hope he'll look like his dad, since SB looks more like me.

So the adventure of raising two boys to be God-loving, God-fearing men begins. With His help, we'll rise to the challenge!

Counting Down

2008-01-08T11:24:00.000-06:00

Less than four weeks to go until our bundle arrives....if he comes on time. It occurred to me a couple of days ago that he could actually be late. How amazing would that be?!

My appointment was kind of fun yesterday in that my doctor (whom I love dearly) is as excited as I am that we're going to run this whole race this time. I am constantly saying this, but I am in awe of God's allowing me to carry this baby full-term. I am really enjoying being pregnant; I wish I'd eat a little less these days, but that's really my only complaint. :)

Smiley Boy still hasn't cut those teeth that have been threatening for weeks. Poor thing. He's really being sweet considering how swollen and uncomfortable his gums are. He has discovered caps and loves to wear one around the house--forwards, backwards, sideways, he doesn't care. He loves that we tell him how cute he is with it on too. He's such a ham. He is also LOVING having Bam here all the time. She's a constant playmate for him, and the activity has been good therapy for her too. She is a tremendous blessing to us and will be even more so in a few weeks when we have an infant in the house.... God bless her.

Well, I'm off to show the house to a potential renter....

A lot going on....

2007-12-11T14:56:00.000-06:00

Well, let's see. Since I last blogged, life has been a little bit hectic.

My mother had a mild stroke on October 27th, and she has been in rehab since then. I really wish I had been blogging about that as we've gone along, because I'm sure one day we'll laugh at it all. Right now though, it's all very sad. I'm talking about the healthcare she has received in the rehab facility. Unbelievably lacking! I will write about that another day.

Our little bundle will be here in less than eight weeks, and we are so excited. I am in awe of God's love and mercy in allowing me to carry this baby this long. Drason and I continue to be amazed at the things we missed out on with SB's pregnancy, mainly the movement of this little guy. SB had just gotten to where I could even feel him when he came at 26 weeks.

I am healthy! I haven't gained too much weight--more than I would have liked, less than I expected, so it's a balance of sorts. :) My blood pressure remains great. All is good.

I just realized this past week that I might need to go to childbirth classes. My dear friend who will actually coach me through this (and deliver the baby if necessary--she's that good) said I might as well go to the classes because they do kind of give you an idea of what's going to happen. However, I'm about to run out of time. Being in the middle of the Christmas season keeps us so busy, not to mention spending several days each week in Pensacola with my mom. After Christmas, Drason will be starting school and will be gone at least one night each week, so right now, I just don't know if we'll make it. Everyone else I've talked to has said that they forgot everything from the classes as soon as labor started, so I guess I'll do some reading on the subject and NOT STRESS! :) Sounds like a plan. :)

Smiley Boy has become Mr. Independent since I last blogged. He was just beginning to take some tentative steps then. Now, he is all over the place. He's so funny--and so proud of being able to go where he wants to and to go fast!!! He is still a sweet, smiley little guy. I never tire of that grin.

Well, I guess this is as good a place as any to stop. I do want to fill in some details of these last weeks, but I'll do that another day.

A Quiet House

2007-10-27T12:44:00.000-05:00

I can't remember the last time I was home alone. Today Drason is painting at his parents' house, and he took Smiley Boy with him to spend the day with Grammy. I almost don't know what to do with myself. I had visions of completing great projects, but I've spent a lot of time sitting right here. I don't have an awful lot of energy, and doing several loads of laundry may be the extent of my accomplishments today. Oh well. The freedom is nice anyway.

I feel great overall, despite the lack of energy. Smiley Boy was almost here at this point in his gestation; I would only be pregnant for eight more days. I don't have any swelling, and I have gained very little weight in the last month (the first two signs of a problem last time). I so appreciate God allowing me to carry this baby longer. Right now, we're at almost 26 weeks; I hope He lets me go 40, but that is up to Him, and I'm good either way. It's kind of strange to think that from here on out in this pregnancy, we're in unknown territory. :)

There's nothing else much going on; Drason is happy with his job--it gets better all the time, and Smiley Boy is walking pretty much everywhere these days. He's still not talking as much as I'd like, but he'll get there.

God is good. Life is good.

Here We Go

2007-10-04T13:38:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I'm down to one post a month. That's a shame because I really enjoy reviewing my thoughts. Maybe I'll do better....

Four months from today, our little bundle should arrive. I have to admit some apprehension that he may arrive early, but I continue to stand on what I know: Nothing touches me that doesn't first pass through the hands of my heavenly Father. I have asked Him for a full-term pregnancy--He knows it is the desire of my heart. The rest is up to Him. I continue to claim scripture regarding carrying a baby full-term, but I am aware that what is full-term to me may be different from what God has planned, and that's fine. He knows what's best for me and for this baby as well as for the rest of my family, and I TRUST HIM. Smiley Boy's whole life is a testimony to reasons I can trust Him now.

For now, every week is a victory as we approach the time-line when Smiley Boy was born. On Monday I will be 23 weeks. That is the week I began having preeclampsia symptoms with SB. So, here we go.......................... :)

Sons--and Ramblings

2007-09-05T23:56:00.001-05:00

Drason and I found out today that we are having another son. Two boys, two years apart. We are thrilled! We were as certain that this baby was a boy as we were about Smiley Boy, but it's always fun to know for sure--and when my untrained eye can read the ultrasound, we can be sure!

I continue to be overwhelmed at the blessings in my life. When I got SB up from his nap today to make the trip to my ultrasound, I was telling him how privileged he and I are that he is not regularly awakened from sleep to go to daycare while I go to work. God has blessed us, and for the second year, a new school year started without me.

This last month has been an interesting one where Smiley Boy is concerned. Just a few weeks ago, I was depressed and distressed over his not walking and talking. He is 18 months old (15 adjusted), but back in May it looked as if he might start walking--three months later, he is still not much farther along. I shared my heart with Drason about it (on that wonderful birthday outing we had) and God spoke to him that we should treat Smiley Boy, not as the toddler that he appears to be, but as the baby he really is, and more than anything else, to ENJOY him. From that evening when we got home to now, our household has been a different place. There is great joy in the occasional step SB takes unassisted or in the mimicry of our voices, but there is no stress in what he's NOT doing. And he is making progress. He's just the happiest little guy to be around, and we are loving watching him grow.

I can hardly believe that in just a few short months we will have two. God is good, so very, very, good!

Love and Birthdays

2007-08-04T23:08:00.001-05:00

I have the most amazing husband.

Last year was a milestone birthday for me, and through a series of events no one could really control, it turned out to be a TOTAL disaster. I'll spare the details and my not-so-mature reaction to them, but it was just not a good birthday.

Now, as a rule, birthdays are no big deal to me. I like to be remembered, but a simple card or phone call is plenty. However, my expectations were high because earlier in the summer, when two of my friends realized it was a milestone birthday, they made a big deal out of all that we MUST do to celebrate. Step one for me was to get over the fact that they wanted to make a big deal out of it. As I mentioned, my birthday doesn't require great recognition, and that one in particular, I would just as soon have skipped. So I spent two months resigning myself to the idea that I had to celebrate and have a big deal made out of it, and I should appreciate what they were trying to do. I did such a good job that as the day approached, I actually began to embrace the reality of my age and to look forward to the plans they were making.

But when the day came, nothing. No phone calls, no cards, no nothing. I was shocked and hurt. I had worked so hard to get to that appreciative place, and all for naught!

Well, enter poor Drason. He has become accustomed to my laid back attitude about my birthday; of the four previous birthdays we had spent together, not one had required any special attention. Now, all of a sudden, I was devastated (translated angry) that I had been "forgotten" by everyone, including him. He tried so very hard to make it right, but nothing worked--primarily because he was not the one who had hurt my feelings in the first place.

There was really no salvaging the day, but eventually it became a joke between us.

Now this wonderful man did everything he could to make this year special-- and it has been wonderful! To say how we spent the day sounds like nothing all that extraordinary. We spent the morning cleaning up the yard and taking some things to the dump. He then delivered Smiley Boy to a dear friend who kept him for us the rest of the day, and then we went out to eat and to a movie. We came home, played with Smiley Boy for a while, put him to bed, and then played Mega-Monopoly. Sounds like a nice day, but nothing all that exciting.

You just had to be here. All day, I have felt so loved and supported and cared about. The work in the yard was really important to me. We've been in this house a little over a month, and I was really ready to get things tidied up out there. It was so very hot, but Drason worked without complaint until we had done all we could do for one day.

While Drason took Smiley Boy to the sitter and I was in the shower, he called and sang a silly version of Happy Birthday to me on the answering machine. Then we spent the rest of our day together with him just making me feel special and important as only he can. We ate at O'Charley's, went to see The Bourne Ultimatum, stopped at Books-a-Million, and then Krispy Kreme on the way home.

After the doughnuts, we had some serious discussion about our lives and our future, and the direction we believe God wants us to go with our family.

As I said, it doesn't sound all that extraordinary, but God has given me a husband who loves me and understand me, and keeps loving me even when he doesn't understand me--no easy task. It was a perfect day with the love of my life, and I am grateful, so very grateful.

And my birthday isn't even until tomorrow. :)

Heavy Heart

2007-07-27T23:06:00.000-05:00

I wrote earlier this summer that my nine-year-old niece would be spending the summer with us. I was so excited. She is my oldest niece's oldest daughter and I absolutely adore her. She came in June and was only able to stay for two weeks because of some complications with DCF. As many children of her generation, she has a ridiculously crazy life--complete with mom's abusive ex who is the father of her youngest brothers and sisters.

She was coming back this month for three weeks before school started. That got shortened to two weeks, and my niece called yesterday and said that she had to come home today because of demands being made by this crazy man. He is not her father, but he is on her birth certificate for now, and he has some rights--in spite of the fact that he is physically and emotionally abusive to them all.

So I am sad. We took her halfway home and my sister and niece met us. My sweet girl was so sad. She didn't want to go home yet, and she certainly didn't want to go to "his" house. I was okay until we got home a little while ago, but now I can't seem to stop the tears.

The bottom line, though, is that God is just as much in control of Dee's life as He was this morning and yesterday and the day before that. He has a plan and a purpose, and His hand of protection on her has not changed. I am so grateful for His love and mercy because we, his children, can certainly make a mess of things. I will keep praying for continued protection and peace for Dee and her brothers and sisters. And I claim them in the name of Jesus.

The Adventure Continues

2007-06-30T19:19:00.000-05:00

Wow! It's hard to believe it's been over a month since I last posted. It has been a very busy time for us though. My niece was supposed to be with us all summer, and she only got to stay ten days, so they were a verrrrrrrry full ten days. Then we began renovations on our rental house and swapped houses with our renters. We are now living "in the country" again and are thrilled to be here. God has blessed us with being able to improve vastly on this space, and we are LOVING being here.

In the middle of our cleaning, painting, carpeting, packing, and moving, Smiley Boy had surgery on Thursday to close the feeding tube site. The tube came out nine weeks ago, and right up to the day of surgery, it was still leaking and very painful to him. Praise God, the surgery went smoothly, and he is just itching a little now where the stitches are.

To make all of this much more interesting, we found out five weeks ago that Smiley Boy will become a big brother at the end of January. We are absolutely thrilled! I haven't been feeling too great though and have NO energy whatsoever, so this move has been particularly challenging. God is faithful, though, and my mom has been a lifesaver with her incredible ability to clean and organize. As I write this, she is in the garage working on all the stuff we haven't brought into the house yet.

We haven't announced our pregnancy yet. Today is the official announcement day. I'm glad we're finally telling, but it's been kind of nice to just have our little secret for a few weeks.

Well, now that we're settled in, I hope to be able to write a little more often.

It's Not What We Do

2007-05-27T20:25:00.000-05:00

I had occasion last week to address a very touchy subject--among Christians particularly--with my 26-year-old niece. I am so grateful that she asked questions that led to this discussion. It was a good time to put into words the truth that I know regarding our heavenly Father's love for us. She was so receptive to the discussion, and that in itself let me know that this was a God-appointed time for us to talk about this; she's never been interested in discussing it before. Her leading questions, via e-mail, was, "Do you think I'm going to hell because I'm gay?" Below is my rather lengthy response.

God never intended for people to lie or murder or molest children either, but if people who do those things confess Jesus as their savior, they're going to heaven too. Satan takes things that God meant for good and perverts them--God meant for you to have healthy relationships with the men in your life (from your dad on down), but Satan has perverted those relationships (not as in sexual perversion, but as in "a change that is unnatural or abnormal.") God also intended for you to have healthy relationships with the women in your life, but Satan is having his way in some of those too. God loves us so much, and He wants to have a relationship with us; Satan hates us and wants to keep us from God any way he can. By confusing you with homosexuality, he keeps you confused about your relationship with the Father and thereby keeps you ineffectual here on earth. He can't keep you out of heaven--you do that if you choose to reject God the Father and his son, Jesus; but the less influence you have on the people around you, the better he likes it.

Some (maybe most) of the garbage in our lives is a result of the fact that we reap what we sow. (Some of it is simply because we have an enemy who hates us.) That's a law of nature and a spiritual law too. If we sow weeds, we get weeds. That's part of the reason that even though you are doing better now, maybe, than you have ever in your adult life, you're still having to deal with a bunch of garbage, because in years past, your actions sowed a bunch of weeds. Because you are sowing good things now, you will reap some good things in the future (some sooner, some later), but the law of sowing and reaping continues to operate in us and in everyone around us, so when we sow things that aren't good, we are going to reap those in the future as well. Now as important as all of this sowing/reaping stuff is, Satan again perverts it and makes us focus on doing the right thing in order to get into heaven--and if we have to do the right thing to get into heaven, then doing the wrong things must send us to hell. Right? WRONG!

God doesn't require us to do anything to get into heaven except John 3:16--Jesus did everything that needed to be done at the cross. All of the sowing and reaping stuff has to do with how we live while we're on the earth and what we get out of life while we're here. Satan knows that the more we have a relationship with our Creator, the less vulnerable we are to his garbage, so he keeps people tied up in trying to do enough good stuff to get to heaven so he can keep us from really knowing the Father. His lies in this area are what make people say that homosexuality will send you to hell. (This is where Marlo's theology breaks down; he says you have to live by the laws of the Old Testament where they did have to do the right thing--that was before Jesus died on the cross and made the way for us to get to heaven through grace, not works--the things we do .)

So can we accept Jesus as the savior, then live any way we want to and still go to heaven? Maybe. The devil's first goal is to keep us from salvation in the first place, but if he can't stop that, then he wants us to live as if we're going to hell so we won't influence those around us for Christ--so they won't see the love of the Father and be influenced by that. And we miss out on so much if we do it that way. Being saved is not living by a bunch of "Thou shalt not's" and preaching to people. It's about a relationship with our true Father, the Creator of the universe--a relationship that makes life while we're here so much better, richer.

Thank you, Father, that you love us so very, very much. Thank you for this opportunity to minister to this young woman that I love with my whole heart and for beginning a work in her to bring her to a place of peace and freedom in You.

More Good News

2007-05-17T12:28:00.000-05:00

Smiley Boy saw the pulmonologist for a follow-up visit on Tuesday. She was very pleased with his progress and said that we do not need to come back. God is so good!

We've had some trouble with the tube-site since we had the tube taken out three weeks ago. I hope it will close up on its own; in the meantime, it's driving SB to distraction. We have an appointment at Nemours in a few weeks. If it's not better by then, maybe they'll be able to help. I love the staff there. They are so helpful, and they NEVER treat me like I don't know what I'm doing--which is kind, since quite often, I don't. :)

SB has four teeth now and a fifth is trying to make an appearance. He is quite mobile but is not really motivated to walk yet. He can go around the room holding onto things, but he doesn't let go very often. I guess walking will be like rolling over and crawling were; when he sees a need for it, he'll do it.

He's had a little ear trouble, but we've been using drops recommended by Cheri at Sweet Hollow Farm, and they seem to really be making a difference.

All in all, life is good. We are looking forward to the arrival of my nine-year-old grand-niece, who will be spending the summer with us, and we will be moving back to "the country" this summer, so we've got lots going on.

Did I say life is good?

Critters!

2007-05-04T16:09:00.003-05:00

Well, I love my town. It's small, has lots of woods close by. I enjoy the flora and fauna, particularly this time of year. Or at least I did--until I walked into my kitchen this morning and confronted a possum!

We live on what is probably the second-busiest street in our little town, but that has not stopped a possum from giving birth under out house. We've been hearing odd bumps and knocks under there for several weeks, and our enormous feline has taken up residence inside during the day; usually at this time of year, under the house is his favorite spot.

The possum in the house was a baby, not much bigger than a rat (ick!), and he was very cute, but with a 14-month-old crawling around the house, I wanted him out!

Animal control from the city brought us a trap which we set, but the possum was too small to trip it. After two days, when I was out driving the bus for the softball team, Drason covered the trap with a cloth to give the possum a sense of security. Then when it went after the food in the trap, Drason heard him banging around inside and tripped the trap. BINGO!!!! The little critter now has a new home in the woods several miles away! MY HERO!

Dolphins

2007-04-27T07:20:00.000-05:00

I went on a dolphin cruise on Wednesday; WOW! My sister and her husband run the boat and two of my other sisters and my mom were going, so Smiley Boy and I went too. I love being on the water, and I thought that would be the highlight of the trip. I grew up in Orange Beach, and (sadly) it has changed incredibly in the 20 years I've been gone--everyone else discovered what a beautiful place it is and decided they want to live there too. :( There were a dozen schools there when I graduated from high school, and now there are five times that--an example of how much the area has grown....

Being out on the water, it was easy to pretend that the area hadn't become so populated. The middle of the third week in April doesn't find too many other boaters out, and if you ignore the occasional cluster of condominiums, it's just as it was when I was a child. The weather was glorious, and I truly thought I was enjoying the highlight of the trip.

When we reached our destination, we soon found a pair, possibly a mother and baby, but they were elusive. We followed them around for a while, but they just didn't want to play with us. A few minutes later though, my brother-in-law, Captain Charlie, spotted fins on the other side of the bay, and we headed over. There we found three dolphins who did want to play. Charlie sped the boat up, and they began to cavort in the wake. They were only 5-10 feet off the stern of the boat, and they spun and jumped and played in the wake long enough for me to take about 30 pictures. It was all just amazing! They seemed genuinely glad that we had come to visit. It was a thrill. I am really looking forward to going again, and this time, it won't just be the boat ride I look forward to!

"Meet Your Maker"

2007-04-19T11:22:00.000-05:00

You know, that phrase is used kind of jokingly in movies and on television as a quasi-threat or some such. But it has occurred to me that it is truly an awesome group of words.

My cousin, Angela, met her Maker this morning after an 18-month battle with cancer. I know we hear of people dying, passing away, even going home, on a regular basis, but to put it in those words, meet your Maker, and of course, for it to be some of my own flesh and blood, (could I use just a few more commas in this sentence?) I'm really in awe of what she experienced today.

I talked with her mom last night, and we just got excited for Angela that she would be free from pain and with her dad and two brothers who went to heaven before she did. Then we started talking about being with Jesus.

Being with her Maker.

Face to face.

In His presence.

Forever.

It's an awesome, awesome thing to contemplate--or to cogitate on. I had an elderly aunt who, when she had something to think about, would "cogitate on that for a while." So I guess I've been cogitating on that phrase for a while.

I get all weepy if I cogitate on it for very long at the time. Not because I am mourning but because the magnitude of my Father's love for me, and for us all, simply overwhelms me.

When I was 17, my 21-year-old brother met his Maker. And even then, God overwhelmed me with His love. I was in awe that someone I knew and loved and had grown up with was at that moment in the presence of the King, the Creator of the Universe, God Almighty. People would say, "Yes, but don't you miss him? Aren't you sad that he's not here anymore?" Of course I missed him, and still do sometimes. I even still dream that he didn't really die and that he comes back after being gone for a long time. But that didn't and doesn't stop me from embracing the joy that I feel knowing that he is WITH THE FATHER and the awe I feel that God loved my brother so much that he didn't want to wait any longer to have him there in heaven.

My cousin had three children who are now "motherless." But, you know what? God can fill that void, and He will if He is allowed to. People say, "But oh, they need a mother's love; these are difficult years for them." Did God not create them? Is He so small that He can't fill in where a mother's love is absent? I think not. His picture is so much bigger than ours, and I don't have to understand it. I have to trust Him and know that He knows better than anyone here what all of us need. The rain falls on the just and on the unjust, but I WILL TRUST HIM. Because He is God. It's really as simple as that.

Clap Your Hands, All Ye People

2007-04-09T20:16:00.000-05:00

Smiley Boy has learned to clap his hands, and he is so proud of himself! I walked into his room to get him up this morning, and he was sitting there clapping his hands and watching them intently. I can only imagine what it's going to be like as he begins to do more new things. He also turned the radio up today and started dancing (bobbing his head and grinning). He was proud of that too. He's such a character.

He continues to eat heartily, and I continue to be amazed. It's an amazing feeling to not be counting every ounce, every calorie, and have him actually gaining weight. I still think sometimes about how big he would be if I had just kept pouring formula into the tube. He was getting 40 ounces a day at one point and gaining weight like crazy. I had to sacrifice some of that growth for his learning to eat though, and it has been worth it. I still think about it sometimes though....especially since we've been hovering around the 18-pound mark for so long. He lost about a pound when he was sick, and we're trying to make up for that now. He'll get there though. I just have to RELAX!!! I'm doing better; I really am.

The Button

2007-04-04T12:20:00.000-05:00

When Smiley Boy was born, we were told that he had to do three things before he could go home: he had to weigh at least four pounds; he had to maintain his own body temperature; and he had to eat on his own. We were also told not to expect him to do any of this before his due date--June 4th. At the time, all I could think of was his weight--he was so incredibly tiny!!!!! He did grow, and he did maintain his own body temp so he could be taken out of the warmer, and he did both of those things before his due date. However, he was on the ventilator until April 30th(eight weeks), so we couldn't even begin to work on bottle feeds until then. By the end of May there had been almost no progress with the bottle. I had had several people ask me if there was any talk in the NICU of sending him home with a feeding tube, but no, no one had mentioned it to me.

Once school got out, I moved in with Ronald McDonald and was at the hospital all the time. Then I was able to see more clearly how little progress he was actually making, and I did finally ask the question--what about sending him home with a feeding tube? Up to this point, the feeding tube being used was an NG tube that went through his nose, and I assumed that was what we were talking about. I could see that it wasn't completely practical for at home because taking it out and putting it back in would be complicated for someone who wasn't medically trained (me), but once I started asking questions, I learned that a tube would surgically be placed directly into his stomach, and milk would be poured into a large (60cc) syringe and through the tube to his stomach. Hmmmm.

This was a strange day because it was almost as if the doctor had been waiting for me to suggest it; once I started asking questions, the ball rolled--and quickly. The OT who had been working with SB on the bottle couldn't believe it when she came in the next day and he was being taken down for a barium swallow as a preliminary to decide if he qualified for the surgery.

Anyway, the first conversations about surgically placing a tube happened on a Wednesday afternoon, and he had the surgery the following Monday. The only stressful part of that for me was that he had to be put back on the vent for the surgery, and because the pain meds kept his system sluggish, it took a while to get him back off of it. After so many weeks of waiting to get rid of that thing, I really had a hard time with this.

(Wow, this has gotten long.)

The g-tube was a yellowish-brown tube about 15 inches long that had a stopper in the end of it. Once the surgery site healed, it would be replaced with a more practical port that would only have a tube attached when it was in use. That happend about six weeks later when he went for hernia surgery; Dr. C. installed a "Bard button" that we could close off when we didn't need it.

When we initially talked about installing a tube, all the nurses said, "Oh, he won't need it for long at all! Once he gets home with Mom and Dad taking care of him and in his own routine, that sucking reflex will kick right in, and that tube will be out in no time!" That was ten months ago.

So what was the point in this whole post? May 3rd, we will be going back to see Dr. C., and he will remove the button! Smiley Boy's eating has taken off tremendously, and we haven't used the tube in three weeks. It has been an unexpectedly long road, but the ride hasn't been too bad, and we've met some wonderful people as a result--namely, the amazing speech therapist who has been working with SB on eating since August. We'll talk about her another day.

Hooray!

2007-04-03T21:52:00.000-05:00

We're back! Our ISP was down for several hours today, and when it came back up, so did blogspot. Very strange....Yardboy told us to contact our ISP when we weren't able to get it to work, but we never did do it....thought the new computer would be here by now.

Anyway, it was great to catch up on Curly Mommy's blog. I have missed it. Now that I can see my own blog, I'll get back in the swing of posting more often.

Miscellany

2007-03-23T22:35:00.000-05:00

We had Smiley Boy's one year portraits done today. He definitely lived up to his name. I've never seen him have so much fun. The photographer did a great job with him too. We've taken so many pictures of him--and it's gotten worse since we got a digital camera--but I decided it was time to get an "official" picture, so now we have one, or I should say several.

I stood by his crib and counted his breaths last night for the first time in a while. 22 per minute. That is no small miracle. When we brought him home, he was breathing 80 times per minute. I can't even imagine that now, but over nine months he's been home, his lungs have outgrown the damage from the ventilator, and his breathing has become more and more normal. God's hand again--or still.

His breathing rate caused me to be "not-so-nice" to a nurse in the pediatric ward in July. Smiley Boy had a double inguinal hernia that required surgery as soon as he was big enough. He cried constantly the first month he was home, but the doctor wanted to wait until he weighed ten pounds to do the surgery, and besides, according to him, the hernia didn't hurt. Well, many people we told that to laughed at it and said they had seen grown men cry with them, but we also had people tell us of people who had had them who said they didn't hurt. At any rate, after the surgery, SB was a different child; I think he had been in pain before.... Anyway, the doctor agreed to do the surgery early when we persuaded him that that was the only solution to the on-going crying.

Somehow, when the triage nurse took his vitals when we checked in, she wrote his breathing rate down as 40 instead of 80 (maybe she counted thirty seconds and forgot to double it, I don't know). Now SB had never breathed 40 a day in his life, and she just made an honest mistake. Well, Nurse Sue came in later in the afternoon after the surgery and, to make a long story short, insisted that he needed to be put on morphine for pain because his breathing rate was so high. She would not believe that the nurse earlier had made an error and that 80 was normal for him, and she really worked to put me on a guilt-trip--I think it's just as well that I cannot now remember all the mean things she said, but she was very pushy and wouldn't listen to anything I said.

And boy, I could have said a lot of things; I could have described the hours in the previous five months that I had spent learning about and analyzing Smiley Boy's breathing, and the hundreds of times (just since he came home in June) that I had counted his breaths. I could have gone on to explain just exactly the road we had been on since February and that she didn't have any idea what she was talking about. However, I was extremely polite in my refusal of the morphine, and once she left the room, Drason went to find Smiley Boy's nurse (Nurse Sue wasn't even our nurse) and I asked that Nurse Sue not be allowed to come back into our room.

After our wonderful experience with the staff in the NICU, neither of us was prepared for all of that. The rest of that surgery experience was interesting as well, but I hear a little boy awake from a nap, so I'll save it for another time.

Wow

2007-02-28T17:02:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it has been a year already. I just have to sum it up here, and then I think I'm ready to move on. I've spent a lot of time remembering the events of last February, including the outpouring of love from friends and family. Three of my sisters actually made the drive (seven hours and four hours) to see us in the hospital, and one of them tried really hard to make it for Smiley Boy's actual birth, but she didn't make it because the time was moved an hour earlier.

The two weeks prior to The Big Day were crazy. I didn't really understand what was happening to my body--it seemed like if my blood pressure was up I should be exercising, not lying around with my feet propped up. I was assured by medical professionals that I trust that I did indeed need to be still. The prospect of bed rest brought all sorts of notions about getting lots of reading done and possibly some scrapbooking. I didn't count on two things though: I was too out of it with the mag sulfate to see to do anything constructive, and the bedrest turned out to be a relatively short two weeks.

The time was filled with morning routines of labs (having my blood drawn about 5:30 each day), being weighed, putting the baby on a monitor, breakfast, and a nap. Visitors usually came in the afternoon, and the doctor in the evening. He would frequently hook us up to the ultrasound machine and check on Smiley Boy. I was actually off the mag sulfate for about a week, and that was really nice. Once I was back on it though, I slept a lot. My father-in-law brought me his laptop so I was able to do some e-mailing, and my beloved called each evening and spent the weekends sleeping on that amazingly uncomfortable chair that unfolds into a bed. There is a part of my mind that knows that this was a very difficult time, but at the same time, I know that I was buoyed up by my heavenly Father, and He made it all completely bearable.

It never occurred to me during this entire time that I might lose this baby. God had filled me with a supernatural peace, and I was able to walk in that throughout. I actually learned a huge lesson about faith. I thought in the beginning that if I just had enough faith, God would heal me, and I would carry this baby full term. After just a few days though, He revealed to me that faith was about trust. I didn't need to trust Him to do a specific thing. I just needed to trust Him. Once I got to this place and realized that I didn't have to work up enough faith to make everything turn out right, I could just rest in Him and trust Him to work things out His way and that His way would be the right way for Smiley Boy, for Drason, and for me.

His way turned out to be a c-section at 26 weeks and a one pound seven ounce, twelve and a half inch long baby that spent almost ten weeks on a ventilator and who didn't come home until a week after his due date. His way turned out to be a g-tube in Smiley Boy's stomach because due to the time he spent on the vent, he had feeding issues and would not take a bottle....

His way also included no brain damage, no eye problems, no hearing problems, and a sweet-natured smiley little boy who is quickly catching up to his peers in development and size. We are so blessed. I bet I've said that a thousand times in the last year. I don't know why God chose us for this adventure, but we thank Him every step of the way that He is with us and carries us through the rough parts.

Happy Birthday, my precious Smiley Boy!

Tip-Toe

2007-02-27T16:48:00.000-06:00

My niece (actually my grand-niece, my niece's daughter) might come stay with us this summer. I am thrilled. She'll be nine years old by that time, and she is my sweetheart. She wants to get a kitten while she's here, but I'm not sure how my monster feline would take to that. He kind of enjoys being an "only." Frankly, I was afraid he would be mad about Smiley Boy, but he took him right in stride, as if he'd been here all along.

His name is Tip-toe, and he's an enormous black cat with a white chin and white toes. He's pretty lazy for the most part, but he will occasionally bring me a bird or small rodent (usually alive), so I know he's getting some exercise. He has mellowed quite a bit as he's gotten older (he's 11). When I got him, I had two other cats, and he wasn't crazy about either of them. They have now gone to kitty heaven though, and he's in kitty heaven being here by himself. So, we'll just have to see about a new kitten. My sweet girl has never had one of her own, so there's a fair chance that I will give in.

Party Time

2007-02-24T21:10:00.000-06:00

Well, the party is over, and I am glad! It was a lot of fun, very low-key. Mom decided to splurge on a birthday outfit from Cute and Sassy for Smiley Boy, and it was precious. He had fun I think. He crashed for about an hour and we actually had cake without him, but he didn't mind. The bakery made a special smash-cake just for him, but we haven't done it yet. Today was just too busy. I think we'll do it on his actual birthday next week.

One thing about our bakery--they did such an awesome job on the cake! I took them a napkin expecting them to just match the colors, and when we opened the box this morning, it matched the napkin exactly! It was amazing! It really made my day--sometimes it's the little things.... :)

Milestones

2007-02-21T03:49:00.000-06:00

Smiley Boy sat up for the first time on his own yesterday. I actually was looking right at him when he did it which was very cool. I figured I would just go in to get him up one morning, and he would be sitting up in his bed, but he actually did it when we were playing yesterday.

We have been pleased overall with his physical development. Debbie, the physical therapist, has been working with him once a week since September, and she is happy too. When she began working with him, he would hardly move his head from side to side to look at things. Now SB's dad and I attribute that to his being hooked up to the ventilator for so long and not being able to turn his head. Nevertheless, it was something he had to work on, and it didn't take long. Once again, I wish I had kept better records of what he has done and when, but at any rate, he has come a long way in just a few months.

We're getting ready for his birthday party this Saturday. I couldn't decide what to do for decorations. I wanted to enjoy not having to do a character while I could--this time next year, I'm sure he'll have an opinion about that. I did find some great ones that I think are very appropriate. :) I don't know if the picture is clear enough, but the decorations say, "The cake is on me!" We're having a cookout at the home of our good friends, and we just invited the whole church. They all have a stake in his being here and being so healthy, so how could we not? :) The weather is supposed to be nice; I'm looking forward to the party.

You Just Never Know

2007-02-16T17:38:00.000-06:00

Okay, yes, I'm a little strange....I was looking forward to this week. It's the one year anniversary of when the Big Adventure began, and I actually looked forward to rehashing "this time last year, we were...." Well, that lasted about two days. Valentine's Day last year I was in the hospital, so Valentine's Day this year, we made a lot of jokes along the lines of, "It doesn't matter how little we do to celebrate, at least we're not in the hospital this year," etc.

The ladies in our church have an e-mail group, and yesterday I decided to read through their daily posts of the time when they found out I was sick, when I was admitted, the two-week ordeal, and the birth of our precious Smiley Boy. I cried through all of them. Totally NOT what I was expecting. Then, today, I had reason to be at the Women's Pavilion (taking SB to a music play group offered by the university). When I went into the bathroom there, just a short walk from where I spent three weeks last year, all of the fixtures, the cleaning agents, the tile floor, the general feel of the room almost overcame me, and I was nauseated for several minutes.

So, I guess God wants me to see something in this that I don't see yet, but I'm not just glibly rehashing the events of last year now. We'll see what He has in mind....

Memories

2007-02-08T15:29:00.000-06:00

Well, it's been one year since my ankles began to balloon as I was teaching. I spent most of that day and the next sitting down while reading The Watsons Go to Birmingham with my eighth grade language arts students. I felt like some swelling was normal at 24 weeks pregnant, and I wasn't concerned, but when the swelling didn't go down overnight I decided I'd better call the doctor. When I did that on Friday morning, she asked about my blood pressure--which I had already checked--it was fine. She told me to keep a watch on it over the weekend and come in for my scheduled appointment on Monday. I did a scrapbook workshop Friday night and got on the scales at the church while I was there. Boy! I had gained about 18 pounds since my last weigh-in at the doctor (I don't keep scales at my house).

On Saturday I began to notice some swelling in my face, so I e-mailed my dear friends who were travel-nursing, in ALASKA, at the time. They had given me advice on other occasions and were following my progress. Nurse R. e-mailed me back on Sunday morning and told me to call my doctor immediately. I decided to check my blood pressure again first, and when it was normal, I went on to church. I got prayed for there, and had a long talk with Pastor J about how to handle the situation if indeed it turned out to be a problem.

I can't remember exactly how this story goes, but Pastor J told me about a pregnant woman he and his wife knew who discovered that she had a life-threatening heart condition after she became pregnant. As a result of it, she had to stay flat on her back the whole pregnancy--otherwise she would risk her life and the life of her baby. She came to a place of not questioning God about it but accepted it and kept a beautiful attitude throughout. Once the baby was delivered, the heart condition disappeared, but there was something (this is the part I can't remember) about the pregnancy that if she had not been on her back the whole time, the baby would have died. The lesson was that God is BIGGER than I am, and to have faith for healing but to accept His ultimate decision. I didn't get it completely at the time, but the lesson came clear to me later.

We went to Wal-Mart Sunday afternoon and I checked my BP again--still normal. Sunday night, however, was miserable. I felt like I couldn't breathe lying down and spent much of the night sitting up, dozing, on the sofa. I thought I would get one of those wedge pillows to sleep on before bedtime Monday. Little did I know that this was to be my last night in my own bed for three weeks.

NICU

2007-02-05T14:50:00.000-06:00

We went to visit the wonderful ladies at the NICU on Friday. They had not seen Smiley Boy since he came home in June, and they were so excited. We saw our dear friends, Nurses P and D, and so many others. Some who didn't even know us came over and thanked us for visiting. One nurse said that it really encourages them in the job they do to see a healthy little guy like ours. God bless those women. They were so professional and caring during the 14 weeks we were there. We saw Dr. P too. He was his usual reserved self, but he played with Smiley Boy a little and seemed genuinely glad to see him.

Still trying to figure out how to celebrate Smiley Boy's birthday. If he had arrived in the usual way, I would not even worry about a party, but so many people who prayed for him and feel a part of his success have said that they want to come that I need to do it for them. Hmmmm. I just don't know. I have three weeks to figure it out.

Robins

2007-01-31T13:45:00.000-06:00

I guess in some parts of the country, robins herald the arrival of spring, but I see the greatest numbers of them here in January. Looking out my back door right now, there are hundreds in my trees and in the trees across the street. I love watching them dart back and forth. They're so close to me in the trees and bushes that I can see the white rings around their eyes. One thing I miss about not being out in the country is a wider variety of birds to watch. We plan to move farther out this summer though, and I will be glad to see more birds again.

Smiley Boy has had a much better day today--that new tooth really had him miserable yesterday. He had a good nap this morning though, and he's been sweet all day--I'm seeing more of my smiles again. He really tried to crawl yesterday with Ms. Debbie, but he's been pretty passive today. He's had a busy couple of weeks though. He just started rolling over both ways weekend before last, and now all of a sudden, he's pushing up on his hands and knees and rocking back and forth. That's the position I find him in every morning when I hear him awake and go in to get him, with a big smile on his face, of course. He is such a sweet little boy.

He's also making great strides in his eating. He's drinking four ounces at a time--up from two and a half just a week ago, and he's eating two jars of baby food a day. God is so faithful; I know I say that a lot, but He continues to show Himself mighty in our lives, and I am grateful!

Beginnings

2007-01-30T22:08:00.000-06:00

I wish I had been keeping a record of some sort since Smiley Boy was born 11 months ago. I hope to go back through e-mail and, using a calendar, makes notes of the important events. I thought several times about keeping a diary, but I just never have done it. This is my attempt to start keeping up with it all. He got his first tooth today, so I thought it was a good place to start.

This whole idea is not to write only about him and that particular adventure, however. Life is an adventure, and as God carries us through it, I'll write about that journey too. To begin with though, I will probably reminisce a lot as I try to chronicle the first year of my Smiley Boy's life. We are approaching the one-year mark of when this all began, and I am amazed that so much time has gone by.

The last week in January, 2006, I was getting ready for FCAT Writing with my 8th graders and Smiley Boy's dad was taking pictures of me 22 weeks pregnant. It seemed silly at the time, but now they're the only pregnant pictures we have, so they're kind of fun. Little did we know what the month of February was to bring!